rekindled romance

On being INFP

Somedays I feel doomed for feeling so much, other days I feel so blessed to be high in the heavens.  Emotions are a gift but are also deceiving.  May God help me to not rely on my emotions but use it for a greater good... for empathy and care of myself and others... and in worshiping and loving Him.

As a fellow blogger says it best:

Openness is vulnerability, and vulnerability invites pain. An open, vulnerable person has to understand that the suffering they endure is only temporary. With each heartache you're moving further up the thorny stem and ultimately into the rose. The ride is harsh but the landing is so soft.

Tomorrow may bring more heartache or it may bring joy. Whatever it brings, keep at it. Don't allow anything to harden your heart, because the reward is great...and better yet, if you're honest with yourself, it is virtually guaranteed.

Those heartless people have an emotionally dull life to look forward to, and will certainly suffer more failed relationships in the long run. Theirs is a journey of denial, distraction, and cynicism...an easy road toward a very painful and harsh realization, which will undoubtedly come too late. A rough road toward a lovely reward sounds far more appealing to me.

And I look forward to that day when I finally land!

What are you doing Presidents' Day Weekend?

It's here again!  WCC 2008!  http://www.wcfellowship.org/wcc/2008/

I promise this is the best thing you can do on President's Day weekend.

amazed

You dance over me while I am unaware
You sing all around but I never hear the sound

Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
And how You love me

You paint the morning sky with miracles in mind
My hope will always stand
For You hold me in Your hand

How deep how wide
How great is Your love for me

While worshipping at church yesterday, I was awe-struck by these deep and beautiful words.  In my head I conjured up an image of my life.  My busyness, my coming and going, my disappointments, my loneliness, my laughter and my tears - all the things that make up my life and my identity.  I have created a tangled web called life for myself... and it's a deep mess.  I have my own agendas to fill and I seem to be the only one that will look after myself- it's an exhausting and depressing thought and I am often drowned by the heaviness of it all. 

But meanwhile, the lyrics reminded me that He's been there, He is there all along, while I'm unaware, while I'm creating my mess.  He has something so good in His hands that He's just waiting to give me.  Something I've never ever imagined, that is so precious and great.  But I have been too busy to notice.  I haven't trusted Him fully with my life to know that He would give me something so good.  I have been creating my own "goodness" and it fails in comparison to what He has saved for me.  He would've given it to me already but He was just waiting for the perfect moment... when I am still, and waiting hopefully for Him. 

Every good and perfect gift comes from you, Lord.  Please help me to stop messing with my life and give over the reins to you.  Help me to be more aware of your presence, and be eager and willing to accept your perfect gift.

We're thankful for …

Single readers share what they're most thankful for this year.
November 27, 2002

… turning 35 this Thanksgiving day and being still single. I'm thankful for this because I've learned so much from my Christian friends who are married. I enjoy their joy. It's weird; at first I was jealous, but now I'm able to share my life with them and not feel like an outsider. I don't believe I would have learned so much about myself if I'd been married by this point in my life.

… the time to work in my church and in Young Life ministry without worrying about neglecting my family.

… my own home. It gives my son a deep sense of security and stability.

… a deeper relationship with the Lord, as I've learned to depend on him to meet my every need, including filling my heart with joy and contentment as I wait on the one he has in store for me. I'm thankful for deliverance from coveting a relationship and all the behavior that goes along with that, for God has changed my mindset concerning relationships and what is really important, and has shown me the need to truly put him first — to remember my first love — in all I do. As a result, my single life has come to be one of excitement, growth, and a lot of fun.

… no one to tell me they don't like what I choose to cook for dinner.

… the ability to see what I want at the movies and be with whom I want without worrying about whether my spouse will enjoy the flick or the people I'm with.

… my time with Jesus — no matter where I go or what I do, we're always chatting away like two old friends.

… solitude.

… the fact that I'm blessed and highly favored.

… God's grace, and that my feelings of emptiness and loneliness are replaced with Christ's presence (whenever I let him in), and that God has shown me how to find contentment and joy in my heart without looking to a make to fulfill those needs.

… extra time to give to my nieces and nephews.

… I can sprawl in my bed, and I don't have to worry about being awakened by snoring — except for my dog (hee hee).

… the proliferation of books, articles, and websites on single living that have been made available in the last couple years. All of this material is not only personally encouraging, but validating for all those who have chosen a single-focused lifestyle.

… not having to wait my turn for the bathroom.

… only having to clean up after myself.

… the chances I've had to live and travel around the world.

… the ability to go home after work, not answer to anyone, just be able to kick back on the sofa and do whatever I please — whether that's watch a movie at 5:00pm, eat potato chips for supper, let the answering machine pick up the phone, put on my mismatched sweat clothes, pull my hair up in all different directions, put on my favorite old slippers, and give myself a massage with my handy massager. And, of course, I love that I can spend hours in the evening talking to God, reading my Bible, and reading a great Christian book.

… the time to sleep in on Saturdays to catch up and get energy to go out in the world!

… having the remote control all to myself!

… the woman who will be my wife in less than a year. She's the answer to my prayers.

… the need to rely on the Lord as my groom.

… being able to sleep right in the middle of my double bed, sleep late without feeling guilty that I should be making someone breakfast, eat popcorn for dinner if I want, spontaneously go out to dinner with my friends without having to call anyone for permission, that God is preparing someone special for me — and that God is preparing me too.

… the fact that the closet's all mine.

… the ability to decide what the thermostat should be set on in the house. Ditto the car.

… time to get to know Jesus as my Lord, my comforter, my strength, and my provider. I just began my walk with Jesus two years ago. If I had a husband and family, my attention would be divided. God's love is so amazing!

… Christian friends who encourage and sharpen me, that this community pulls together when there is a need, that God knows what is best for me and his will can't be thwarted, for the godly family examples I get to see and interact with, for my completion in Christ — just as I am.

… the fact that the toilet seat is always down!

… the fact that the money in my checkbook is all mine.

… not as many dishes or clothes to wash.

… my freedom — not just the freedom to come and go as I please without having to run it past a spouse for approval, but the freedom to minister, to travel on weekends to visit and encourage friends all over the country; to have a literal open-door policy at my home where friends are encouraged to drop in any time of the day or night, to open my home to other single women who are in need of a place to stay for a while, to take the children of my married friend for an evening so she can enjoy an evening alone with her husband. The list could go on and on. I'm also grateful that the God of the universe has chosen — at least for this season of my life — to keep me all to himself. What a privilege!

** It's NOT so bad to be single after reading all this!  I am very thankful for this season in my life and wouldn't ask for any other way if I truly thought about it.  Every season has it's special reasons and it's a blessing to have the freedom I have in every aspect of my life!  I will have to make my own thankful list on the next entry!**

Article reference: http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/